As the festive season moves closely from one feeling to the other, thoughts fly past me looking like little chirpy swallows for answers in more ways than one. The one that weighed heavier than the rest was- ‘why do we live our lives in an effort to make other people happy and not consider ourselves first?’. One of the common reasons might be that we were not nurtured properly while we were growing up. It is very important that we were made to believe that we were individuals in our own right, with a will and a purpose that we could exercise when we needed to.
This feeling is embedded in us like a seedling that has not been allowed to have access to sunlight and moisture and thus not allowed to unfurl itself properly. But it is definitely not too late to look at it. To make ourselves feel cocooned in safety (in ourselves), we must question ourselves, become more aware. A little therapy never killed anybody and most of all it would be good to also try journaling as an alternative. Always our inner ‘child wounds’ that we retain in our lives become difficult work later. Most times, these things get worse before they get better. But it is wise to tackle them, than to continue living life in bewilderment and not understanding better.
Running our lives and our households are so close to running a business, as most people would agree. Most times when we watch ourselves juggling our responsibilities, like paying the children attention, getting our daily lives in order, we often feel that life is tough and we cannot possibly make it work. Being overwhelmed, getting hopelessly behind schedule, drags in its own amount of frustrations. But that’s why we have to make more efforts to strategize things as we traipse along. Like in the workspace, heading a company allows us the flexibility to delegate, so also must we in our homes apply the same rules. Cleaning, childcare, errands and other duties should be equally shared with our partners or hire adequate help. Accepting adjustments make our lives more liveable and peace rules in that kind of environment.
What we finally realize is that by coming to terms with change, allows us the actual transition to live our busy lives. Letting go of perfectionism is actually also an art form that helps us embrace life fully and as it stands. Difficult times come on many people as nobody is free from them. Maintaining a positive attitude in the midst of it all proves to be the most challenging. Most times we become like children, expecting too much from the Universe, who somehow knows what our souls desire in order to thrive. What becomes more and more evident is that, just like petulant children do not benefit from getting everything, we also as adults only grow through constriction and difficulty. But the universe definitely stands by us even in our hardest times.
We have been through some hard times lately and its time that we looked at ourselves a little more carefully and accept that extreme energy changes are still going to arise. Unprocessed emotions, unresolved transitions, and negative ways in which we perceive ourselves all have to be reviewed responsibly. Sometimes willingly surrendering to life’s vagaries does the job well. All of us nurture the desire to love and be loved and to feel a sense of belonging is a need that will always exist. But we don’t accept these things and why? The answer to that is- we nurture toxic emotions, which drain our energy, deflate our spirits, make us feel stuck in situations, give rise to negative self-talk etc.
All this cause unhealthy relationships, that in turn damage our behavior patterns, break down our self-confidence, self-worth and self-love. But the good news here is that though we cannot change our past, (only if we understand and want to change it), we can move towards bettering our futures. In this world of harshness, we have to learn to soften and expand as we navigate through it all. Being open helps. Our preconceived notions, most times act as barriers, walls that we probably needed once upon a time and now not so much, because intimacy, love and other things need openness and acceptance. Simply stating that when we set up barriers, we are in the danger of spending too much time alone, this in turn prevents us from meeting new people and making friends.
The other thing that we participate in is in the belief that we should act aggressively to achieve our desired goals. This kind of tunnel vision keeps us stagnant and we fail to be receptive to things coming our way. Life in all its glory is available to us in the present moment. Yes! But though we cannot possibly experience every leaf that falls to the ground and every feeling that tempts us, we can definitely awaken ourselves to the moment to enjoy it, by refocusing our attention, and balancing ourselves between the present moments and eternity.
