An easy definition in this time and age would be- that Happiness is merely the result of doing exactly what one likes. Making one’s own decision and doing what one wants because one wants to do it. It is like living one’s life exactly to please oneself. It is being independent, and allowing others to do what they want, but seeking the best in themselves and in the world. Not living as one’s own person can make one really unhappy. We were given these lives to create what we wanted and to find purpose in whatever we set out to do. We then do not have the right to blame anybody or the situation, if our lives did not turn out the way we wanted them to. We cannot expect anybody to come and save us, give us the big break or even rescue us from enemies. We are the saviors of our own lives. We have to accept that.

Avoiding the things that make us unhappy can be a whole lot (the list is indeed long). We have to consciously avoid manipulations, pointless arguments, and confrontations. We have to stop playing the victim and enjoy our successes without guilt. Somewhere we have to own who we are and not pretend to be another person. Unrealistic expectations of life, judging others, living in the past all attribute to feeling unhappy. Not trying to be perfect all the time, remembering that we can also err, and understanding that there has to be room for growth, all help us make up our own minds to understand that being happy takes effort.

Understanding that we need a purpose to what we put out and not inhibiting our growth helps us get half way there. Straightforward advice, common sense and directness create the path. We have to not wait for a crisis to hit to go forward and incorporate all the very things we already know. Being happy is liking who we are, the way we feel, and letting ourselves open to what can come at us in a positive way. None of these promise happiness- through becoming rich, knowing the right people, or merely succeeding in a job. Knowing and accepting our faults, we have to learn to love ourselves, (despite what they make us feel), just the way we are and that encourages happiness.

Accepting that our independence can sometimes bring in loneliness (that comes with choosing to be alone), one must get into the situation of owning it as a choice that one has made. When one makes mistakes, one has to be able to correct them as well. Keeping up with a peace of mind is not easy either, it is simple, but it has to be present before what you think of doing and after you have done it. Knowing that one has good intentions is one way to have that peace of mind. Like for instance one has to be peaceful before forgiving another person, because then it shows the sincerity of one’s thoughts. It means that you have to be peaceful before you set something difficult right. Being true to the situation, will make a person attempt the right thing.

One needs that equanimity if one wants to believe in their own goodness and the very power to do it. Not being able to accept oneself, its easy to become insensitive, and trip over one’s own weaknesses. An example would be looking for another person to love, (just so we could complete ourselves), proves to be a whole waste of time. On the other hand, not loving ourselves makes us overvalue material things. Loneliness sets in as a result and even being with other people does not help. So, in many ways the catch word is –acceptance and that creates growth. Truth becomes our enemy when we do not accept ourselves for when we do so, we accept the world.

That takes us to- what other people think? What we have to realize is that other people are just as confused as we are, just as insecure, just as frightened, and likely to make mistakes, be envious, jealous and totally incapable just like us. What we have to pay attention to here, is the fact that what others think is really none of our business! And they are probably wondering what we think of them.

We all know that we are all going to die all alone, i.e die our own deaths so why not live our own lives? Thinking of others and how to please them leads us on to making them feel more important than us. In trying to please them, our expectations rise and that causes resentment in us leading to unhappiness. We have to realize when that happens life soon loses its pleasure because then we have given in to dependance on another to keep us happy. But let us not forget this…

NOBODY KNOWS HOW TO PLEASE YOU LIKE YOU KNOW HOW TO PLEASE YOURSELF!