The rains are finally here and the mood is hugely benevolent. A holistic holiday has pretty much put me there. Life looks abundant, people -almost humane and the mind slips easily into the unknown, searching for ways to be happy and imaginative. A place I visit every now and then, when I visit myself…

The first step to getting what you want in life is knowing what you want. This may sound so obvious to people, but a surprising number of us are going through life without really coming to terms with the truth of what we want. There are many reasons for this reality-parental influence that maybe curbs our imaginations and other external factors that end up restricting us.

We feel that in getting all caught up in exploring our deepest desires, it depletes our energies. It feels like we want things beyond our reach. Though it is an almost practical attitude, one can easily balance it by being a little more imaginative towards our needs.

For instance I can be a cool fifty year old and want to trek to the highest mountain peak in the world. One can see the impracticality and seeming impossibility of this idea, so it goes into-immediate reject, even without exploring the basic. Here, maybe one should be able to take a few trips that are easier, allowing one participation in trips that inspire in the same direction.

Any time spent doing what a person desires is never wasted, because it generates energy that can fuel the rest of your life and besides nothing is impossible. Sometimes the simple act of expressing a want actually releases it, while other yearnings retain their energy, asking us to pay attention. When we pay attention to what we want, we are that much closer to getting it.

We human beings are completely multi-dimensional creatures, our identities being made up of the sum of our many traits and values and our character. So much so that, each of us possesses within us many different selves. Our adult/childlike spirits, out masculine/feminine selves, the worker, the artist, the parent, the caretaker, all these combined form a well rounded complex person.

Of course, now, no rule of the thumb says that all these different aspects should blend easily. Some even oppose each other from time to time. When our different parts clash, we learn to compartmentalize each self, and though this helps in the short run, we would definitely be better off if all these selves co-existed peacefully inside us. When our many selves blend together, to form one integrated self, we feel the change.

Our power to cope successfully with life’s challenges is far greater than our fears. We are almost always stronger and more capable than we believe ourselves to be. Most of us find it remarkably difficult to focus on two different thoughts and emotions at once, but what we don’t realize is that we can use this natural limitation to our advantage.

When we concentrate on something unrelated to our worry, such as deep breathing, visualization of success, demanding yet pleasurable pursuits or exercise, the anxiety naturally disappears. Meditation of course is an all time useful coping mechanism. It provides us with the grounding, one so badly needs. Our minds and bodies are interconnected, and the condition of one affects the condition of the other.

This is why meditation is such a powerful tool for healing the body, as powerful as physical therapies. When our minds are cluttered with thoughts, information, and plans, our bodies respond by trying to take action. When the body has a clear thought from the mind, it knows what to do, but a cluttered, unfocused mind creates a confused, tense body. Our muscles tighten up, our breath shortens, and we find ourselves feeling constricted without necessarily knowing why.

When we sit down to meditate, we let our bodies know that it is okay to be still and rest. This is a clear thought from the mind, and the body knows exactly how to respond. Thus, at the very beginning itself, we have created a sense of clarity for the body and the mind. As we move deeper into meditation, the state of our mind reveals itself, and we have the opportunity to consciously decide to settle it.

A meditation teacher rightfully pointed out that if you put a cow in a small pen, she would act up and push against the boundaries, whereas if you provide her with a large, open space, she would peacefully graze in one spot. In the same way, our thoughts settle down peacefully if we provide them with enough space, and our bodies follow suit.

Just as the Earth allows the rain, sitting with our feelings is the best thing we can do for ourselves rather than stuffing them deep inside. It takes great courage to really sit with our feelings, allowing ourselves to surrender to their powerful energies. Very often we set our feelings aside, thinking we will deal with them later. Because we don’t deal with them at the time, we end up storing them in our minds and bodies and this is when anxiety and other health issues arise.

Denying what our bodies want to feel can lead to trouble down the line, which is why being in the thick of our feelings, no matter how scary it seems, is really the best thing we can do for ourselves. One of the reasons we tend to hide or push aside our feelings is that we live in a culture that has not traditionally supported emotional awareness.

However, as the connection between mind and body, our emotions and our physical health, becomes clearer, awareness of the importance of feeling- our feelings grow. If sadness arises, we notice its presence and welcome it, noting where in our bodies we feel it, and allowing ourselves to express it through tears. Our feelings simply need to be felt.

All we really need is to allow, as the earth allows the rain to fall upon it. As the rain falls, the earth responds in a million different ways, sometimes emptying out to form a great canyon, sometimes soaking it up to nourish an infinitude of plants. In the same way, the deeper purpose of our feelings is to transform the landscape of our inner world, sometimes creating space for more feelings to flow, sometimes providing nourishment for growth.

All we need to do is allow the process by relaxing, opening, and receiving the reward of our emotions. As the world evolves, humanity is learning to work from the heart. We have been taught that the way to get what we want is to follow certain rules, play particular games, and even engage in acts that sometimes make us compromise our integrity. But all the rules, we need to really apply are the ones of intention and connection.

When we use our energies to be true to ourselves, we enjoy the connection that brings us and that in turn helps us focus on the life we actually want to live. So from being bound by society, that dictates a certain form of behavior, we as spiritual beings can listen to our hearts and follow exactly what we know to be true and meaningful for us. In doing so, we will along the way attract only the ones who have chosen the same path, because Life is sculpted on a moment to moment basis.

Previously published in the Sindhian