So many of us draw from our worldly experiences, our families, our relationships, our rejections, failures, our successes, all from time to time. What remains cognizant is that our experiences, our stories sometimes bordering on the absurd, proving at times to not be so real, but happy and sad all the same do the job. Some of us reach out to memories, not realizing that they hold the toxins of undigested life experiences and probably some negative emotions within us. We don’t realize that we should let go of these toxic burdens that are attached to memory and just reclaim our inner joy and creativity from our present circumstances.
How can we ever do that since we are conditioned to stay with only that which feels comfortable and even easy to just slip back into? We need to distill and filter from our life experiences that which make us think, make us ponder on how we can restore and remedy certain things. Silent meditation helps in times of restoration. I have over the years always advised keeping a journal, an aide memoire (a book of personal reflections) that comes in use quite nicely when I need to refer to, while in dire straits or sleepless moments. Those are the friends and companions one needs.
Slowly I realized that I was good at, trawling in the good and bad from all my memories and writing about stories in regard to relationships – of marital discord, mental breakdowns, broken hearts, warring siblings and families, isolation, overload at work, rejection, failure, mental despair, sickness, grief and this list continues to weave itself longer than a snake. There was just no end to the mental chatter. Overwhelmed, I reached out to people who would listen, and calmly narrated stories of truth and agony, grit and glory. I put my money where my mouth was. I shared what I could in good measure. It translated into a column of sorts.
The truth but not all of the truth, the cover was the main trick. Say enough, nobody wants to know your entire story. Tidbits did the trick. I started speaking like I would read a cup of tea leaves. Say something leave something to the imagination. People had short attention spans. Loneliness racked so many, as did heartbreak, failure and relationship discord had existed forever, there was always a mind needy and grasping, listening and absorbing. I was meant to share, but how much? became the question.
What I realized was that people tend to crouch behind a wall of negativity, but yet cry out for help, but as soon as you share with them, they would just duck right back behind that very same wall. But there are so many ways to reach out and I was not going to step away if somebody needed something from me. Kindness had a path and it was leading me by the hand. Most people are materially satisfied, it’s the spiritual that eludes them ultimately. After a point in time, simple physical existence is no longer enough for most of us.
To live fully one needs to dance, to swim to climb, get out of breadth and primarily make use of all one’s senses. Human beings need the love and connections of other people. Boredom and lack of interest brings on depression. Read, walk, observe and above all be open to observation. But above all we reach the place when we seek more than everything.
