Talking about Dead Space– sounds ominous, sounds dark, sounds strange, and bizarre, but it isn’t so. Not as bad as it sounds, I am assuming. I read somewhere that it is lucky that we make it to a place between Christmas and New Year- the week where you can lose all track of time- the dead space!
The week when one can just blob, beg off from work commitments, (not even attempt to journal?) stay put in pajamas, watch endless hours of television, remain exercise-free, binge eat, no count of calories, make endless meaningless goals, listen to random podcasts, read books off the lists, chat with complete strangers, be delusional, skip beauty treatments, dance like nobody’s watching, listen to crazy alternative music, basically be invisible and completely off the grid as one would say?
I wandered around aimlessly, knowing full well that I had to rest and relax, and hit the reset button only when I was extremely ready for the onset of the New Year. I had no plans; specifically, because I had already put myself on JOMO mode. More and more people were getting the extent of this feeling, at least the people I hung around with. It was not new to me or my inner circle. We were mostly all on the same path. The rest I could see wringing their head and hands in the hope that they would be on the best party lists, travel, and shop. I do not blame or judge the people I know simply because one had to have been there and done that to feel, excluded so to speak.
The climate outside my window played a scene out of a romantic hill station, the rooftops hazy, the wind chiller than normal, all since the days were shorter, and a so-called winter had set in. The air smelt musty, but seemed like a mist, in reality- a polluted fog. I lounged in my flannel nightshirt, holding my warm chai to my heart, and felt a sense of calm as I gorged on plum cake. Yes, I was going to do all that I liked. I set the recorder to my favorite mood enhancer- Leonard Cohen and bathed in his soothing voice. The man looked as melancholy as he sounded, but that was definitely my now vibe. Alone-ness had suited him. He had moved on in his life from being a musician and writer who went into reclusion and lived as a Buddhist monk at Mount Baldy Monastery for a while.
On an everyday move, friends say to me that I romanticize everything. I agree and that’s why I feel life is worth living most times, not forgetting the bad days when I don’t. Connecting one thing to another has become a habit, a good one in my opinion. For instance, small things make me feel important and worth it. Living a life of authenticity even in my time and age gives me a sense of a rosier bigger picture. A well-deserved one perhaps.
We all know that when we were younger, we were conditioned to be afraid and embarrassed to seek out what we wanted or even just to speak our minds, but now with our lives coming full circle we know that we can finally live the lives of our dreams (or close maybe). But some of us still conform publicly to society’s expectations, withholding secret passions. I would dare to say here that youthful brashness and self-interest help us make us who we are. However, the simplest way to live our truth is to act in the way we think it is all worthwhile.
Dare I say that to do so, it takes being selfish in a healthy way, by doing exactly what is good for oneself, regardless of what our friends and family think or say of us? Making choices without fear and trusting one’s own wisdom to take those very choices forward in life may be the right way to go about it. Denying one’s own truth can lead to failure and disappointment. Everything ultimately reflects who we are. In our everyday lives, we just have to question our beliefs from time to time and not slack in our journey towards the truth. In honoring our own strengths, we can actually push aside what others want us to do. The reason for all this is the very reminder that we are all moving towards death every single day. It is like it’s a part of life as much as birth is.
We all know that Life is a work of art, a work in progress, simply made of beginnings and endings (running together like wet paint). So, that is the reason that when we begin a new phase in life, we strive to attain closure, with respect to the current stages that we find ourselves in. Many of life’s experiences call for closure, as we cannot see the significance of the events or the importance of those very lessons until we have what we consider closure. This in a way frees us to open the door to new beginnings, it helps us to sever loose ends and quiets the mind when certain questions have been left unanswered.
Does all this signify conclusions? In most cases, perhaps. It is merely a transition, that when we seek closure, what we really want is an understanding of what happened. Closure can actually help us to get over our feelings of anger, anxiety, and even uncertainties. Anything that weighs down one’s spirit should be tackled at once and not swept under the rug for too long.
The other thing that came to mind is that- ever wondered that in our lives many a time, we keep having the same experiences again and again? Like our work situations, our romantic involvements, and our health issues. All creating frustrations and disappointments galore! That is because we don’t learn our lessons, so the experiences come back again and again to teach us.
Often, we feel we are in the thick of things, totally overwhelmed with too many activities that need our immediate attention. But that is not the Universe ‘s plan. We are never given more than we can handle. What we do not realize is that we collect all this negative energy around us, and get overwhelmed. When we become aware and segregate our thoughts, automatically space clears around us leaving more for inspiration to take over. Then the flow of the universe takes over. When the thick becomes thin, we find the space to learn and experience new things. It is actually this ebb and flow of life that we clog with our inexperience and wanting to fast-track everything in our lives.
So also, with this- dead space that comes in before the New Year. It reminds us that we need to chill, put everything behind us and get with the program. Would I call it a sort of a reset? I would. And that exactly what I did. I even threw in a day of complete silence.
Happy New Year Folks!!
