Imagine if we were born with instruction manuals? That would mean that we would all be actually different, considering all the things we would want to learn of course, but the basics would be the guidelines- like how to have happy relationships, how to handle pain, how to achieve our goals, and many other how to’s. We would need only to reach out to the manual, when we felt unhappy or despondent. It would only be a go- to manual for when we would be broken and needed to be fixed.
In real life, our guardian angels are the gurus we follow (among others for some), the books we read and the sayings we think we understand, since we were not really meant to go through life completely lost, we were always meant to help each other.
Most of the times when our lives are going well, but sometimes even when they are not not, we get used to the status quo of our very existence and write it off as –Life as we know it. Resisting change is very much ingrained in our DNA. But since change is the only thing that is constant, it comes by anyway whether we like it or not and ultimately the status quo shifts. By using change as an ally, we empower ourselves.
It helps not to work against change though. But of course the idea is not to go about changing things randomly, but using it to our advantage, would help us create stability and that in turn helps us to survive and thrive. We as humans know exactly what is good for us, i.e in our lives, literally from our relationships to even the food that we eat. But still we continue living in our comfort zones, paying scant respect to the ability to make choices.
Sometimes we do not even cut loose from the people who drain us, making the wrong choices even in something like food (fast food over salad). Maybe it’s the deep-seated parts of us that just do not want to heal. It could well be called self-sabotage. But when one believes that one can control how they feel, that’s when real transformation happens. When challenges or new situations in our lives show up, fear sets in immediately. Since we have not been taught how to deal with our fears we tend to back off immediately, and instead indulging in the fear and not wakening our courage.
Feeling fear is normal but letting it ruin our chances for change and things that might excite us is the point. We have to cultivate our abilities to trust new experiences- like a new move, a job and a relationship perhaps. Sometime we mistake our excitement for fear. When opportunities come and doors open we have to understand that it was meant to be. We all have defense mechanisms that we have developed from our childhoods. For instance crying brought us instant attention.
These work as natural responses from our physical and mental beings. Passive aggression has taught us different tactics. We take refuge in this, thus diverting attention. We should learn to recognise our own values. Sometimes our belief in ourselves limits us. Once we gain awareness about how our lives actually matter, we find fresh sources of energy emerging and that is how we reconnect with the world and ourselves.
In the world that we live in it’s a popular belief that we must have positive thoughts because what we think we must attract. Crazy, unwanted thoughts usually come to us when we are stressed and anxious. It feels like a bad song stuck in one’s head. One way to consciously get rid of thoughts like those is to trick ones mind to actually refocus ones attention to positivity. Also to be in the know, and accept the lives that we are given, and to trust the universe irrespective, does save one from a potential negative outcome.
We are stronger than we know and realise. Our power to cope successfully with life’s challenges actually overrides our capacity for feeling nervous. But anxiety is never rational, in that, in most cases it feels like we cannot work through it even just using logic as a tool. Some ways to dissipate anxiety would be deep breathing, visualisations and exercising. Meditation is the most important coping mechanism without saying.
We are such multi dimensional creatures and our identities are made up of so many traits and values that we end up possessing so many different selves. For instance our childlike and adult selves, our masculine and feminine selves, our hardworking and the creative selves, the parent and the caretaker selves. All of these make us complex human beings. When any of these clash with each other, we find the unrest and need to find ways to coexist peacefully with them.
When we find that the way we are living does not work for us and that we are unhappy, we ourselves begin to defend ourselves and scream- ‘enough!. This happens because change is something that cannot ever be enforced, we have to want it. Once we decide we want it, things happen quite fast. That’s called- free will. Challenging as it might be, it proves to be like the proverbial onion, layers begin to strip away one after the other.
Change catapults you into the driver’s seat of your life. So then it’s a goodbye to the old way of life, the way we once were. A completely new energy is then born. Do we realize that in the everyday of our lives we have miracles that happen to us? Little signs, but we look for larger things to make us happy. If we only noticed the small things like the beauty in everything, kindness and laughter that envelopes us, just the ordinariness of life around us, we would be able to see how blessed we are. If we only allow the little joys to fill our hearts, they would in turn connect us to the world, bringing a deeper sense of appreciation in everything we touched and felt.
When we get all caught up in our packed schedules and various obligations, we see the weeks go by and realise we are merely hurtling from one station to another. There is a danger of that too. Anything that makes us feel that crazy rush, needs to be adjusted, we have to take the necessary breaks. We have to view the big picture, and take the wheel with confidence, driving at the speed we want to go, in the direction that is right for us.
Previously published in WIC Style
