Just thinking aloud with this one…

 am* BITCH*ous(def.) a woman who:

1) makes money

2) has more power

3) gets the recognition she deserves

4) has the determination to go after her dreams and does so with integrity

Which one would I choose? Which one would society choose?

Now if only I cared about that, I wouldn’t be the person I am today.

It’s been two decades of trying to become, who I have always dreamed of being. So, I should know what I took care of, suffered through, imbibed even, to understand the word-ambitious. But hey one learns every single day and these are some facts, some not, but true to a point depending how one looked at life in their own circumstances. After all, one only knows how the shoe fits through trial and error.

First things first, wouldn’t it be just peachy, if one could be audaciously ambitious and not cringe over it. What about craving excellence and then trying to achieve it unflinchingly, or to just make it unapologetically a part of one’s own self- worth and  create one’s own personality?  And of course, all this as a virtue not as a vice. What if it was mandatory as a woman, to be ambitious as in, if it was a non-negotiable priority in life. What if it came as a professional entitlement to feel- ‘I am worthy, I have worked hard for this and its my time to shine’.

But instead, we women were taught to be less- ‘Am-bitch-ous’. Try to go for harmony, try sacrifice, balance your shortcomings, be true to your value systems. Our culture taught us that we could derive ourselves from being selfless, by giving to everyone first, especially to our children, spouses and family. So, we in turn let ourselves be taken in and thus drop kicked our actual dreams. We are so afraid of the things that we were conditioned with, that we thought were our dreams, and that would make make us feel less of a woman. So, ambition thus became a dirty word. 

But it’s a complete misnomer, when one is told that one cannot have it all. One really does not have to give up being a woman just to get ahead. Of course, it is possible – all we have to do it to redefine what IT is. There can well be a balance between the killer job and an ideal life. Both do not have to be completely ideal. That’s where the balance would be needed. Boundaries have to be set with colleagues at work and people in her personal life so her needs get met, not trampled on. The cornerstone of our capacity as women, to live full lives is when we truly understand that we have to respect our work whether it is in our careers or in our personal lives. Living authentically, means to remain continuously inspired, to be open to fresh opportunities, and ultimately be the best in everything that we do. 

We women are often afraid of the connotations that the word-‘Ambition’ gives rise to. We admit liking our work but refrain from saying I love my work, for the simple fear of making us sound ambitious. Because a woman that values ambition is then looked upon as a little bit of a bitch perhaps? Somebody whose priorities may be way out of whack. One still prefers the word successful to ambitious, and why is that?

Aren’t we all born with the same level of ambition? Obviously, the need to move ahead, to compete, to achieve, accomplishing to leave behind a legacy is embedded in the human soul. How much is in our genes is not our choice, but what we individually do with it is our choice. In all our lives the choices that we make have pros and cons. And for helping each other we have to share our stories, whether good or bad, to lets us feel less alone, less guilty, less ashamed.

Think about it, if you are the kind of woman who has ever dreamed of being a person who can perform, or thrived on challenging herself creatively, and perhaps intellectually, and live to see the thrill of succeeding, then you have to agree that you are an- Ambitchous woman. Because only that would make you ultimately happy. It is well known that if you want to be successful in anything that you do, you will have to work at it, and if you are ambitious, you have to embrace being extraordinary!

I chose # 4 and I have reason to be happy as I have accomplished what I had set out to do. The trials are hard and the tribulations many, but life has its rewards and hard work never fails. The ways are many, crossroads as well, but women have that resilience and destiny favors the brave.