I remember, I grew up listening to Cat Steven’s – Morning has broken. Well! It’s that kind of a morning, I am sort of at peace with the world. It really is the best part of the day, when you look around you and everything has a glow about it, the September rain is still a patter, and the spaces around you are not that offensive, you have coffee brewing, the newspapers have just come in, life is just waiting to invade into your thoughts…. hmmnn.

How many people actually plan their day? Many a time I just go with the flow, let life play havoc and then there are times when I will myself a happy day. I look around me and I realize I need my basics, my morning prayer (a silent thank you for having more understanding than most), switching on my personal computer, recharging my mobile phone, downloading my music on my i-pod, settling with my mantra beads. How different do these chores sound coming from a woman? A world that has changed beyond measure!

We have kids these days, that know their minds so well, with who discussions actually do not turn into World War III, who actually remind you that you cannot ignore global warming, that anger is no more turned inward (since it would later erupt in therapy anyway) but can be recycled into activities that can actually benefit mankind, have created the most astonishing careers into reality-Hey! I like talking to my kids-most of the time.

And then there’s my cocker spaniel – Osho, who prefers to sit at my feet while I write, silently watching me all the time, like he has been put on this planet to monitor this person- Crazy mom, hysterical wife, temperamental writer, aggravated bystander…where are these words coming from? “Ah! but she does love me after all, she does talk to me, can’t cootchie coo  enough though, and is known to occasionally throw a bheendi at me- I am a gourmet dog you know, I  have standards too” thinks Osho aloud with one eye open..

The great question….which I have not been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is-“what does a woman want?”- Sigmund Freud.

Thinking back, about this gathering that I was part of lately, most of us complain that men tend to just gather around the bar and have more fun than the women, definitely a divide of sorts. I decided that evening, that I would change the scenario around. So here we were, all together, a few drinks later, ready for slaughter… The question put to the men-‘What do you think women really want?’ (What does it take to make her happy?).

And what do you think the men elaborated on? So unlike the world I live in-in my head. “Money” most said was the women’s Viagra. But the women –(showing visible hurt) thought so otherwise. Some men agreed that compassion and understanding is what women needed to make them tick. But the whole truth is that every thing is relative. What is your truth? Think about it.

An interesting book that I came across lately –The Female Brain, which rhetorically insists -‘Women have an eight lane superhighway for processing emotion and men have a small country road’. That explains why a woman remembers a fight with such clarity and a man behaves like it never happened? Wow! Ok and what about how women like to chat more than men?

Simply because, by talking, women get a dopamine and oxytocin rush which is the biggest, fattest, nuerological reward one can get outside of an orgasm. Please let the women talk! You have no idea what they can do for you, provided that  they are happy..

Men in their 40’s- Do they even know that the strife in their lives is due to this silent revolution brewing in their lives? Is he merely a puppet in his wife’s and children’s life?

A completely new equation here? A 40 something man is turning into a gently, mildly submissive indulgent man? The overbearing dad is giving way to a gentle father? He is actually settling for a friends role? The wife is allowed to make some of the decisions; the kids actually decide the holidays. I like this breed of men. Is it mid-life crisis?

Women’s Night out-You definitely don’t need to be liberated to do that. Just a phrase that sets everybody’s mind ticking overtime. It’s just something that women need to do like the guys tend to do, when they spend guy time together. Increasingly, more women are opting to be with other women when they need some time off. Most women like to just chill, take in a play or movie, or be a part of a book club, no restrictions on how well behaved they have to be.

Just like guys like to curse and generally be absolutely crazy when there are no women in a room. Of course there is an exception to every rule. It can get pretty nasty if  women are careless or go on drinking binges because clearly it’s a man’s world out there. ‘Men bond over shared activities and women over shared emotions’ True, woman time, night or day is here to stay.

A friend came to lunch the other day and her fatigue completely alarmed me. I thought-Setting the world on fire definitely comes with risks. Burnout is a condition caused by imbalance, too much work or responsibility, and too little time to do it in. Cruising in the fast lane can cause us to run out of fuel too.

Be not in denial! when you go to bed at night, and are still tired in the morning, when you burst into tears, or go into fits of rage unnecessarily, when you don’t want to pick up the next phone call, you are definitely out of whack. Only you can help yourself, by taking a detour sometime.

Listening to Sheryl Crowe, gave me an insight into what we women really feel, but most times can’t express… let the lyrics say the needful…

I’m a bitch, I’m a lover, I’m a child, and I’m a mother,

I’m a sinner, I’m a saint, and I do not feel ashamed.

I’m your hell, I’m your dream, and I’m nothing in between,

You know you wouldn’t want it any other way.

So take me as I am, this may mean-

You’ll have to be a stronger Man!

Previously published in the Sindhian