SEX IN THE CITY- the movie of course, long awaited, has had numerous reactions. People all over the world had waited patiently to see the sequel to the series, finalizing all the relationships. I personally thought the movie had an edge to it, and yes you win some, you lose some and at the end of the day, you forgive some.

For people who have watched the show know exactly what I am talking about..of how in our interpersonal relationships, we feel forgiveness is something that must be asked for or earned by another, but it is actually a gift we give ourselves. Expressing our forgiveness, is so empowering because it helps us to feel less like victims and allows us to dispel our own suffering at having been wronged.

So what would you do if somebody you loved with all your life left you standing at the altar or somebody you felt committed to cheated on you and said it was only that one time? Walking in the park early in the morning has tremendous benefits, I feel. Since its summer and the sun is so welcome, everything has a glow about it.

Between the whispers of the leaves rustling in the gentle breeze, my thoughts go crazy, as I squint through the little cap on my head, sun block intact, I let my mind race. Yes! There are people this morning, in an otherwise empty park. A very endearing sight indeed. Lots of fathers teaching their sons and daughters baseball.

Do fathers spend more time with their children now in the hope that relationships would be easier in time? Or is it just the rush for FATHERS DAY? that is just around the corner? A lady I met begged to differ. She seemed to think that all individuals are conditioned to be who they are from childhood itself and no boundaries of time and space and circumstance create good or bad human beings.

So the next time you do something, know that it was your upbringing that lead you to your actions. But do not forget to teach your kid to fish as well while you are at it (all puns intended). There are six billion people in the world (an estimate of course), and everything we do and say, effects the people in our lives and their reactions in turn affect others.

So we believe that to initiate transformation, we would need to take extreme action. Our thoughts and actions are like stones dropping into still waters- creating ripples. All one needs to do is use this ripple effect to make a positive difference and spread that all over the world. We have the power to touch the lives of other people, and this power gathers momentum as the ripples move onward and outward becoming a tidal wave spreading love and kindness.

So are we going to smile at the next person we meet? And are we going to lend a helping hand to people in need? But before we start giving, we have to start making ourselves a little more secure. One of our biggest anxieties is losing what we have. All of us continue being afraid of something that we can do nothing about. Somewhere I read the definition of F.E.A.R-‘False evidence appearing real’ and realized that most of my fears were baseless.

For instance when one has a fear of having no money or success, and if we know how its created one can always create more. By focusing on them, we realize that they are mere shadows that finally just disappear, when one actually uses ones mind and spirit. But, in London, I experienced a feeling that I did not even know existed. At a tourist attraction called ‘London Dungeons’, there was this ride that makes you realize how a hanged man felt when he was hung from the gallows.

They strap you in a chair and then it’s a free fall except without the noose of course.  How many of us have gone through life feeling like that ?I realized life can take us on a roller coaster ride full of highs and lows, twists and turns. And then there’s this deep plunge. Now that fear was real!

But we have to remember we are not alone in our experiences, because whatever our fears are they are valid and so comforting to know that everybody has the same ones. But it pays to share those fears to feel better.

Lately I experienced a state of being in what I call a ‘blue funk’ (sluggish and uninterested). Completely impatient with myself and no energy for my usual routine, nothing to offer the world outside. But not for long, since the answer to that could well be that sometimes in life we can be in a chrysalis state.

For a butterfly it is a time to build its strength to survive in the outside world. Likewise we have to labor on our own to discover the force we need to be our new selves in the world. Money.. Most of us are connected to it whether it is spending it, making it or just plain craving it. Its important for us to have good thoughts about money.

How we perceive it has a great deal to do with how much one has and are able to create. And the more we appreciate something the more we invite it into the flow. The energy of earning manifests itself into money and is exchanged through spending. Anything that is static will never reproduce and so it is the case with money. So spend and don’t forget be generous too.

There is just so much to analyse in life. The worst is when one makes wrong decisions, like choosing the wrong life partner, wrong financial decisions/investments etc.But the big picture is that there are no bad decisions simply because when we do make them, regardless of the outcome, we always get to gain valuable experiences or insights from the choices we have made.

Sometimes we need to follow through on a decision to realize that we do not really want what we thought we did. Being able to make choices is one of life’s privileges We do have to exercise our rights.

Sometimes we come across people who are completely being themselves and other times we deal with those who are so’ put on’ God help them.. Our authentic selves are our true selves. This happens when we conform to society’s expectations.Now authenticity means that that one makes choices without fear, trusting only in ones own soul wisdom.

In living one’s truth there should be no pretenses. To do this one has to be selfish in a healthy way by doing what is best for you and  regardless of another’s opinion, be it even close friends or family. To conclude this time I have to add that being a mother is more than a biological concept. It is infinitely complex.

Our mothers determine who we become because they are not only life givers but are the most influential people in our lives. They not only ignore faults, they shield their children from misfortune, hiding their own tears, sharing their children’s grief, healing their pain, physical and emotional, giving everything of herself knowing full well that someday her progeny will leave her.

Previously published in the Sindhian